just a thought before bed.
I'm stopping things. I'm stopping waiting for someone to come along who'll make me feel like I don't need to be someone else. I'm stopping looking over my shoulder at my mistakes. I'm stopping trying to escape myself. I'm stopping altering myself. I'm stopping swallowing the key everytime I'm about to be myself. I'm stopping searching for what I already have.
"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken," Evanescence, Hello
and there was some beautiful thought this night when I drove to dance that I just can't remember.
posted by Lara @ 1/16/2006 08:00:00 PM
14 comments
14 Comments:
You never posted saying something like, "I'm fifteen now" or "there are only five more years before I'm twenty" and "only two or three or four more years before I go to college" and "it feels weird to be fifteen" or "it feels normal to be fifteen" or "I'm halfway to middle-aged."
so-o-o! delicate-deep-love and tremendous-well-wishing from me. I know you-and not. a little. much more than a little. these things are unsayable! lovelovelove and happy birthday!
mm don't you hate it when you have these wonderful beautiful thoughts and then there just..not there anymore. its quite aggravating. i love all you and all your wonderful fifteeness! i miss the smell of your hair. i miss your big brown eyes and your curly eyelashes!! aghhh i miss you!!!
I know what you mean... I finally realized that someone already came to help me with all that... and it was Jesus.
you're right, I never did. I totally forgot about blogging for my bday, I wasnt struck with it. I just might though...
thank you love!! I think I know what you mean - I know you a lot but there are parts that I dont know yet or dont know as well and that are changing and reshaping and getting even more beautiful and I wish to know all parts of you better! I LOVE you like a fast-forwarded video of a flower blooming that just repeats and repeats!
the orthodentist made me bleed...actually, it was the new hygenist...I appreciate her efforts but the wires stuck out and my gums bled and she had to get the doctor to help and it all took twice as long so pah! but it shall be fine.
what an evil rant that was.
splink! fink ink tink wink mink...yes, those thoughts fly away like pretty birds. I was never good at catching birds, they never wanted to eat the seeds in my hands. drr. but thinking of you and your cream-hair and ocean-eyes and adorable laugh makes me forget about birdies that never came! :D
p.s of course, I could just say I had wonderful thoughts that I cant remember and convince everyone that I was brilliant my whole life and never really think anything at all :P but I did have this thought.
lyshaaa-! I commented like one second before you did and then yours showed up first.
"I love because He first loveth me, I live because He lives" we are dead without Him. we are houses on sand and white washed tombs, jars of clay.
loooooook at my blog
lara! thats brilliant, yes, my mind is filled with very deep thoughts, i just forgot them. i really am brilliant! muaha your a genius my friend
eep! It's funny when that happens. yep... you said it :D I do things for HIm not so He'll love me... but because He already does.
wow hey lara!!! da dun dun dun. ugh ok i woke up this morning and i could NOT talk. it was horrible i tried to sing and it was like *crack crack crack DIE* and i was like oh no!! and i have to teach all this afternoon and i can hardly say anything...gwah!! not good at all.
mm i need to email u. i miss u. i have to go now. i love u goodbye!!
lysha lysha lysha lysha lysha lysha lysha lysha MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! I hope you know that song, otherwise that could have sounded funny. haha well its always worse when you're about to SAY something great to someone and then it slips away. that is SO frustrating...especially when you badly wanted to say what you were about to.
lol, splink :P there's hidden geniuses out there...oh yes...
janelle! that sucks! I dont even know how many times I've lost my voice this year, lots, its crazy its never been like this before. tss! I hope your lessons go/went well despite the lack of voice :P
lara my friend! I do not know that song! so i'm interested :P lol *german accent*--> "vat is zis mushroom zong?"
ooo i hate that. i hate so much when u have something you reallyyyyy like REALLY wanted to tell them. and then doo lee loo it's gone. and then they're like "well it must not have been that important if you forgot it." and you're thinking nooooo it was it was important! ya ok lol.
love u!!
badger badger badger badger badger badger badger MUSHROOOMM MUSHROOOM!!! badger badger badger badger SNAKES! badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!! badger badger badger badger SNAKES!
ah..yes..that is the song. haha i love it
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/badgers.php
there it is lysha :D go wild lol
teeeeee, hehe splink, you know it too! lots of people do actually..funny :D
lysh - exactly. tss. so hard. :P
wow... INTERESTING. Kind of mezmerizing.
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