A Call to Love

***

I would never have noticed him in a crowd. He's just a person. Walking, breathing, thinking.

But if you knew him, there would be something different about him.

"Different", that word is thread-bare by now - "Be different! Stand out!" "You were made different, you're unique" "Don't rock the boat, unity is important" "Oh them...they're different"

He's different. He's gay. He knows how that word makes people shrink away. And he knows how everyone thinks they know all there is to know about it.

"He's gay" "She's a lesbian" - that's like a death sentence in the Christian circles. but its supposed to be an invitation for Christian love.

God is love. Thats what we (Christians) believe. We all nod sagely at this. We applaud Jesus in those chapters in the New Testament about the Pharisees and Sadducees who despised Jesus because he ate and spoke with sinners - prostitutes, tax collectors, diseased and poverty-stricken people. It seemed so stupid to them, so undignified, so improper. Jesus wants us to love people the way He did. But so often we love those who are like us, and judge those who aren't.

***

I would never have noticed him in a crowd.
He's just a person. Like everyone else.
He walks a little differently
a sort of delicate swagger,
and his tongue carries a lisp that makes the corners of peoples' mouths twitch.
He compliments girls on their clothes, without any eagerness in his eyes,
and they love it; and they hate it.
I try not to stare. He knows what that word does to people,
and the way they think they know all about it.
He sees me looking,
and with self-convinced pride, raises his nose a little higher.
Inside, I snort
with arrogance.
He walks past
and I get a wave of a tangy cologne.
My nose wrinkles; I assume
everything.
And he's gone and I'll never see him again.

***

I'll pretend I didn't stop and talk to him. and that I didn't see him trying to be manly because he didnt know me. but I did. in my head. and he told me some things I'll never forget.